Monday, August 24, 2009

Remember the ThighMaster?

I'm looking for mine.
Suzanne Somers plugged the device and testified that it would firm and reshape all those jiggles in the lower hemisphere. I was younger and more foolish then....thought there might be hope. I somehow convinced myself that if I bought one, I would use it. Learned nothing from the ankle weights, the exercycle, or the Nordic Rider. This contraption was simple and inexpensive, not to mention easily stored and portable! How could I fail?
How about by not using it? Despite the alluring visions of myself with Suzanne's bod, it was too Hard! Not FUN, WORK! She never grimaced when demonstrating the wonders of ThighMaster reps. What was I doing wrong? Nevermind, pitch it out in the garage! No, no! The Loved One might see it out there and give me grief. Under the bed! He'll never look there!
You know, I even think I moved it with all my worldly possessions more than once. But where is it now? The list of places it isn't is growing. Surely I didn't throw it out! A treasure like that? As soon as ya throw something out, you're gonna want it! I know better!
So, why am I looking for the darn thing? Well, I need it! No concern about jiggles, no illusions about Suzanne's bod. It's simple, really. I need to strengthen my inner thigh muscles.
No, really, I do! You see, every other time, I ride Flicka with a bareback pad, trying to make sure she'll ride with the saddle or pad. Good for her because there is less weight; bad for me because of the inner thigh muscle thing. Why? According to the saddlemaker guy, Flicka has narrow withers. That means I have to clamp on harder with, you guessed it---inner thigh muscles. Those seem to have gone the way of all flesh, and I need to build those muscles up. Right now I am only riding for a short while so I don't get too sore. Flicka doesn't mind at all; apparently, a walk in the woods is not as enjoyable when lugging me around. What sort of exercise builds inner thigh muscle strength? ThighMaster! Where is it? The Loved One thinks it's out in the garage. I looked, but obviously not as well as he can.
We'll see....

1 comment:

  1. Haha, you have a very fun writing style. I appreciate the comment you left on my blog and am happy you did leave one. And the definition I made regarding the cougar "status" was just a guideline. But anyway I laughed and enjoyed reading your posts and am happy to say that I will be your second follower.